When I used to drink, I mean back
When I used to REALLY drink one
Of the things that I hated the most
Was when the neighbours would
Call the police. There’s nothing surer
To ruin a buzz than the fucking police
Suddenly arriving to stick their nosy
Snouts into your business. I could
Never understand why they were
Called. I mean occasionally we’d get
Loud and shout now and then, but
What do you expect when two alkies
Are living together ? There were
No SERIOUS crimes taking place
Just a few drunken arguments and
Misunderstandings. I realise that
The neighbours must have by got
Fed up with us.(  Now I am so well
Behaved I wouldn’t offend a nun.)
But a knock on the wall and a shout
Of ” Shut up ! ” Would have done the
Job with a lot less trouble. Also
There are not many things in life
That are worse than waking up, hungover
Looking around at the white tiles
Realising that you’re in a cell and
You haven’t got a clue why you are there.