Not Everyone Lived

Phil sure didn’t.

He kept rage inside

and around him

like an aura

of false smiles

and forced laughter

and drank

until his pancreas

told him to go

fuck himself.

Danny drank

until he turned yellow

then orange

then dead.

David was crazy

first of all

and then there was

all that vodka

for all those years

until his liver

told him to get bent.

with Tom it was pills

and liquor

and god knows what

and then the liver

flipped him off

while he was hoping

for a transplant.

Eric smoked and drank

without ceasing

and didn’t give a fuck

about anything

and finally

the cancer came.

Doonie made it home

from Iraq

with so much

poison in him

it was just

a matter of time

though that time

stretched decades.

Donna got cancer

for no good reason.

The nice lady

at the vet’s office

was just gone

one day.

I think it was

her heart.

And these are

only the ones

I knew well

or truly liked

or counted

as friends.

So many 

gone

from disease

and drinking

drugs

suicide

murder.

And here I sit

old and fat

bad knees

bad shoulders

bad back

bad mind

bad attitude

bad intentions

more or less fine

as the world

becomes still

and small

missing a few

of the vanished

and waiting

for whatever

is to come.