
Not Everyone Lived
Phil sure didn’t.
He kept rage inside
and around him
like an aura
of false smiles
and forced laughter
and drank
until his pancreas
told him to go
fuck himself.
Danny drank
until he turned yellow
then orange
then dead.
David was crazy
first of all
and then there was
all that vodka
for all those years
until his liver
told him to get bent.
with Tom it was pills
and liquor
and god knows what
and then the liver
flipped him off
while he was hoping
for a transplant.
Eric smoked and drank
without ceasing
and didn’t give a fuck
about anything
and finally
the cancer came.
Doonie made it home
from Iraq
with so much
poison in him
it was just
a matter of time
though that time
stretched decades.
Donna got cancer
for no good reason.
The nice lady
at the vet’s office
was just gone
one day.
I think it was
her heart.
And these are
only the ones
I knew well
or truly liked
or counted
as friends.
So many
gone
from disease
and drinking
drugs
suicide
murder.
And here I sit
old and fat
bad knees
bad shoulders
bad back
bad mind
bad attitude
bad intentions
more or less fine
as the world
becomes still
and small
missing a few
of the vanished
and waiting
for whatever
is to come.