The ocean is a dangerous mother
It’s beauty never fooled us
With her sapphire waves sparkling in the sunlight
At night, gently lapping at the hook of a moon
with a caw of seagull nearby and
The wind whispering like her lovers
Storms were no mystery or surprise
They came hard and fast, and we were steadfast and surefooted at the helm
Our little ship had always held through the tempest
Through the hurricanes, sea pirates, sharks, shallow ground, and coral
But when father time had his heart attack
Who could have predicted the ship would sink so fast
Each board pulled apart by a cruel titan
Merciless and harsh
No one could have predicted the way the ocean ripped us all apart,
drifting away on whatever scrap of ship we could grab.
If I could have snagged you, I would have.
I would have grabbed you and never let you go
But the night was dark
The ocean mother was cruel
None of us could see past our grief
And what we thought was strong glue had dried out
Just know that I never dreamed of abandoning you
Never in a thousand years would I leave you floating in the vast wild of the sea
But I did.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of that.
And then later, when you were on drugs and drinking, I needed to draw boundaries
And that felt like abandonment to you too.
I know this. I see this. I understand this. I feel this.
But it doesn’t make it hurt any less for you
And it doesn’t hurt any less for me.
All of this and distance to realize
the ocean is a dangerous mother
That we don’t need.
And one day, I hope to find you again, sober
And though we’ll never again be on that ship together
Perhaps we can find some sturdy ground to
Build a foundation on
One that doesn’t sink.
One that the ocean or her lovers can’t touch
BioSpinner of spiders, writer of webs, host of Dark Softly Tales Podcast. www.darksoftlytalespodcast.com