5 poems by Chell Navarro

Punk Noir Magazine


 

decay.

I am prescient as a lilac. –G.C. Waldrep

 

i/ve known you 

since long before i was 

 

miscarried   

since long after i died

 

i live as the root

of you

 

i am beauty

a bud mothers mourn

 

plant me

a grave that grows

 

i am delicate

attar of decay  no one can resist

 

press me 

between leaves of old

 

poesy    hues of bloom

the blood purple of placenta

 

stains   i divine under

the full pink moon

 

remember me as

the lost moon child

 

i see that i am

the first sign of spring

 

but short-lived 

drops of dew rest on 

 

the petals  wish me to be

a fragrant wine


 

 

 

body and blood of

apply for the job you want / not the one you can get

 

how can it be? i/m not 

the girl 

 

you marry—

 

i/m the one 

from the dirty side

 

end of the bar kinda tracks

 

who shoots tequila

w/o training wheels

 

holds the other girls’ hair 

while they puke in a can

 

not a looker but 

they say: 

 

she sure can suck cock and keep a secret

 

I had the holiest of teachers

not what I was headed for

 

in 3rd grade   i wanted

to be a nun

 

turned my vanity into

an altar

 

for the HOLY MARY of god

pray for me now

 

but Father had other ideas

after organ practice

 

I guess if you want to go

biblical

 

i/m another type of

Mary

 

what does it matter? i wanted

to be beatified

 

& then left 

alone  a man underfoot—

 

i don/t serve i don/t 

 

languish 

in solitude  that/s how i thrive

 

 

 

bonded

 

you leave me

always

 

dumb-tongued

and hollow

 

like a fevered child

craves

 

comfort from 

an absent parent

 

you replaced 

the father

 

with the occult

lover the velvet hand-

 

cuffs that hid the key

deep 

 

inside of me

my skin was ripe as

 

a peach you said

call me Daddy

 

 

you said never speak

of this my peach

 

as you dropped

me bruised and rotting

 

the seed still

clinging

 

to flesh you said never

speak

 

of this

I wish I wish I wish

 

 


 

feral girl

 

it/s not that easy

to figure out someone like her

 

a whiskey away from a blow-job

or a promise of 

 

more  did you ever want to figure out what

she might be chasing?

 

you chase an 8-ball

around the table  eyeing her

 

from afar  did you ever figure out

it was about love

 

or lack

of love & not about her

 

daddy  just someone strong enough to

shield her

 

from the very thing she succumbs to

the very thing

 

she tried

to avoid  breaking herself open

 

she saw you looking her way

missing a shot

 

the very thing she avoids

 

first off  a man that for once 

in a life could

 

protect her from

the very thing you end up doing

 

giving her

your body and a ride

 

home but never

a home  the cost just one whiskey

 

 

 

“…the sinister destiny of love without destiny, without future.” 

                                                         –the Count of Villamediana

 

telling a lie takes a lot

of remembering

 

you can say you don/t love me

& forget:

 

that night you walked from downtown to the westside way too drunk with a fistful of stolen lilacs like a proper suitor  only to have me rescue you from yourself  i took you home & fucked you  you said i love you & then puked in a PBR cooler 

dirty martinis waste-water

 

later you realize—

ask yourself if that was love

 

the truth lies

in the gut the corner of

 

the eye like

an opiate loves a spasm

 

uncontrollable in its flush

of skin & burn

 

you know love equals death

 

b/c i told you so


Chell Navarro is the founder and editor-in-chief of Savage Torpor Poetry. She is an advocate for women in recovery from abuse, trauma, and addiction. She is a true punk at heart, living and working the poet’s dream in Kansas City, MO. https://www.stpp.online