Hide with me behind the moonlit night, so we can count how many promises
Break in one go. The cold here always cracks open the night,
Your breath lingers in the air, falls down as snowflakes on your shoes.
I used to sit on the snow, light matches as they showed in me flashes
What it all could have been, what colour I painted the walls,
How we met in the middle of the night after you broke my window
With pebbles you picked up with your bare hands from the snow.
Hide behind me so I can think of how this place would look in spring,
How we would hold onto dead tree barks to survive the flood season in March.
But you come down like an avalanche and bring down the home I made for
I left my heart in Continental Europe but something bigger pulses outside.
It is more than just the snow, or the floods, or the avalanche.
It is when I stand still in the middle of the street and guess what the next
Turn will smell like. It is the string lights they hang from mid-October
To when the sun doesn’t set at night. The clouds move so fast,
The moon imitates the flame of the matches with a soft glow.
But why is always you and never me who stands here to freeze?
I expected to change a little bit as my fingers turned blue
When you left me here all by myself but I never got to learn
The place enough to find you back. So I’ll watch you from the
Place I will forget how to move as you take the next train to the airport
And maybe you will come back before I miss you too much.
Naz Kaynakcioglu is an England based poet who grew up in Izmir, Turkey. Her poetry focuses on her experiences growing up, her cultural upbringing and the people who have inspired her. She has been published on HEBE Poetry Magazine in 2019, Procrastination Paper in 2021 and has recently been commended in Tower Poetry Competition. Interested in obtaining a better understanding of people, Naz has a particular passion for psychology and literature and uses her poetry to foster this interest. You can find her on Instagram and Twitter as @lavendersnaz